A survey says the cost of hiring a prostitute has dropped 23% in the past 8 years. I'm trying to think of a phrase other than "hard times."
The Playstation 4 is the top video game platform in the U.S.. At least that's according to a poll among gamers who would put down their controllers long enough to do a survey.
Dollar General has offered to buy Family Dollar for $78.50 a share, which is more than Dollar Tree's bid. My biggest fear is that one of these deals will create a monopoly and they'll jack prices up to $1.01!
OK, so I took the ice-bucket challenge. Now I'm freezing cold and my champagne's getting warm!
The Princeton Review says that Vanderbilt University has the happiest students in the country. They obviously aren't the football season ticket holder students.
A study says that 36% of all Americans haven't saved anything for when they retire. You could always go with my plan: I've saved enough to rent a moving van so I can move in with my kids.
A new survey claims that Americans are only taking half of their vacation time. Who are these people?
*.*
The "Greatest Boxer of All Time"
A lot of people have this title confused.
The Greatest Boxer of All Time didn't die recently...he died 47 years ago.
He didn't have 5 losses, he had none (49-0).
He didn't have 37 Knock Outs he had 43 (88%).
He didn't dodge the draft.
He wasn't a race baiter and sure didn't convert to Islam.
He was a local kid named Rocky Marciano aka "The Brockton Blockbuster" .
Don't let mainstream media idolize false prophets.
When Rocky was asked on TV if he could have knocked out Ali when Ali was in his prime,
his response was oh so classical:
"I’d be conceited if I said I could've, but I'd be a liar if I said I couldn't"
*.*
Oneliners:
I wonder how many dollars bills I've touched that have been used in a strip club
It's weird how much the Charmin bears love wiping their ass.
The difference between a Million and a Billion is almost a Billion.
CPR is the human version of blowing into a video game cartridge hoping it'll work again.
My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year... 20 pounds to go!
English is weird: flexible and "in"flexible are opposites; flammable and "in"flammable are synonyms; But continent and "in"continent couldn't have less to do with each other if you tried.
Door handles on the inside of restrooms really defeat the purpose of washing your hands.
*.*
Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."
*.*
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU PROBABLY NEED TO DROP A FEW POUNDS
1. The floor creaks when you walk on it. It's a cement floor.
2. Local clothing store created a "Big and You" section
3. You've actually worn out two sets of silverware
4. Your grocery store has a day each month in your honor
5. That's the third extension on your belt
Issue of the Times;
The Four Stages of Life by Mark Manson
Life is a bitch. Then you die. So while staring at my navel the other day, I decided that that bitch happens in four stages. Here they are.
STAGE ONE: MIMICRY
We are born helpless. We can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t feed ourselves, can’t even do our own damn taxes.
As children, the way we’re wired to learn is by watching and mimicking others. First we learn to do physical skills like walk and talk. Then we develop social skills by watching and mimicking our peers around us. Then, finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by observing the rules and norms around us and trying to behave in such a way that is generally considered acceptable by society.
The goal of Stage One is to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults. The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us to reach this point through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves.
But some adults and community members around us suck. They punish us for our independence. They don’t support our decisions. And therefore we don’t develop autonomy. We get stuck in Stage One, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged.
In a “normal” healthy individual, Stage One will last until late adolescence and early adulthood.3 For some people, it may last further into adulthood. A select few wake up one day at age 45 realizing they’ve never actually lived for themselves and wonder where the hell the years went.
This is Stage One. The mimicry. The constant search for approval and validation. The absence of independent thought and personal values.
We must be aware of the standards and expectations of those around us. But we must also become strong enough to act in spite of those standards and expectations when we feel it is necessary. We must develop the ability to act by ourselves and for ourselves.
STAGE TWO: SELF-DISCOVERY
In Stage One, we learn to fit in with the people and culture around us. Stage Two is about learning what makes us different from the people and culture around us. Stage Two requires us to begin making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves, and to understand ourselves and what makes us unique.
Stage Two involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. We experiment with living in new places, hanging out with new people, imbibing new substances, and playing with new people’s orifices.
In my Stage Two, I ran off and visited fifty-something countries. My brother’s Stage Two was diving headfirst into the political system in Washington DC. Everyone’s Stage Two is slightly different because every one of us is slightly different.
Stage Two is a process of self-discovery. We try things. Some of them go well. Some of them don’t. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on.
Man sitting on cliff looking out over clouds
Stage Two lasts until we begin to run up against our own limitations. This doesn’t sit well with many people. But despite what Oprah and Deepak Chopra may tell you, discovering your own limitations is a good and healthy thing.
You’re just going to be bad at some things, no matter how hard you try. And you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever excel at anything athletic whatsoever. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did. I’m also about as capable of feeding myself as an infant drooling applesauce all over the floor. That was important to find out as well. We all must learn what we suck at. And the earlier in our life that we learn it, the better.
So we’re just bad at some things. Then there are other things that are great for a while, but begin to have diminishing returns after a few years. Traveling the world is one example. Sexing a ton of people is another. Drinking on a Tuesday night is a third. There are many more. Trust me.
Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and you should therefore spend it on things that matter most. That means realizing that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it. That means realizing that just because you like certain people doesn’t mean you should be with them. That means realizing that there are opportunity costs to everything and that you can’t have it all.
There are some people who never allow themselves to feel limitations — either because they refuse to admit their failures, or because they delude themselves into believing that their limitations don’t exist. These people get stuck in Stage Two.
These are the “serial entrepreneurs” who are 38 and living with mom and still haven’t made any money after 15 years of trying. These are the “aspiring actors” who are still waiting tables and haven’t done an audition in two years. These are the people who can’t settle into a long-term relationship because they always have a gnawing feeling that there’s someone better around the corner. These are the people who brush all of their failings aside as “releasing” negativity into the universe or “purging” their baggage from their lives.
At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and commit to it.
But people stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. That they are limitless. That they can overcome all. That their life is that of non-stop growth and ascendance in the world, while everyone else can clearly see that they are merely running in place.
In healthy individuals, Stage Two begins in mid- to late-adolescence and lasts into a person’s mid-20s to mid-30s.4 People who stay in Stage Two beyond that are popularly referred to as those with “Peter Pan Syndrome” — the eternal adolescents, always discovering themselves, but finding nothing.
STAGE THREE: COMMITMENT
Once you’ve pushed your own boundaries and either found your limitations (i.e., athletics, the culinary arts) or found the diminishing returns of certain activities (i.e., partying, video games, masturbation) then you are left with what’s both a) actually important to you, and b) what you’re not terrible at. Now it’s time to make your dent in the world.
Stage Three is the great consolidation of one’s life. Out go the friends who are draining you and holding you back. Out go the activities and hobbies that are a mindless waste of time. Out go the old dreams that are clearly not coming true anytime soon.
Then you double down on what you’re best at and what is best to you. You double down on the most important relationships in your life. You double down on a single mission in life, whether that’s to work on the world’s energy crisis or to be a bitching digital artist or to become an expert in brains or have a bunch of snotty, drooling children. Whatever it is, Stage Three is when you get it done.
Stage Three is all about maximizing your own potential in this life. It’s all about building your legacy. What will you leave behind when you’re gone? What will people remember you by? Whether that’s a breakthrough study or an amazing new product or an adoring family, Stage Three is about leaving the world a little bit different than the way you found it.
Stage Three ends when a combination of two things happen: 1) you feel as though there’s not much else you are able to accomplish, and 2) you get old and tired and find that you would rather sip martinis and do crossword puzzles all day.
In “normal” individuals, Stage Three generally lasts from around 30-ish-years-old until one reaches retirement age.
People who get lodged in Stage Three often do so because they don’t know how to let go of their ambition and constant desire for more. This inability to let go of the power and influence they crave counteracts the natural calming effects of time and they will often remain driven and hungry well into their 70s and 80s.
STAGE FOUR: LEGACY
People arrive into Stage Four having spent somewhere around half a century investing themselves in what they believed was meaningful and important. They did great things, worked hard, earned everything they have, maybe started a family or a charity or a political or cultural revolution or two, and now they’re done. They’ve reached the age where their energy and circumstances no longer allow them to pursue their purpose any further.
The goal of Stage Four then becomes not to create a legacy as much as simply making sure that legacy lasts beyond one’s death.
This could be something as simple as supporting and advising their children and living vicariously through them. It could mean passing on their projects and work to a protégé or apprentice. It could also mean becoming more politically active to maintain their values in a society that they no longer recognize.
Stage Four is important psychologically because it makes the ever-growing reality of one’s own mortality more bearable. As humans, we have a deep need to feel as though our lives mean something. This meaning we constantly search for is literally our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life and the inevitability of our own death.6 To lose that meaning, or to watch it slip away, or to slowly feel as though the world has left you behind, is to stare oblivion in the face and let it consume you willingly.
WHAT’S THE POINT?
Developing through each subsequent stage of life grants us greater control over our happiness and well-being.
In Stage One, a person is wholly dependent on other people’s actions and approval to be happy. This is a horrible strategy because other people are unpredictable and unreliable.
In Stage Two, one becomes reliant on oneself, but they’re still reliant on external success to be happy — making money, accolades, victory, conquests, etc. These are more controllable than other people, but they are still mostly unpredictable in the long-run.
Stage Three relies on a handful of relationships and endeavors that proved themselves resilient and worthwhile through Stage Two. These are more reliable. And finally, Stage Four requires we only hold on to what we’ve already accomplished as long as possible.
At each subsequent stage, happiness becomes based more on internal, controllable values and less on the externalities of the ever-changing outside world.
INTER-STAGE CONFLICT
Later stages don’t replace previous stages. They transcend them. Stage Two people still care about social approval. They just care about something more than social approval. Stage 3 people still care about testing their limits. They just care more about the commitments they’ve made.
Each stage represents a reshuffling of one’s life priorities. It’s for this reason that when one transitions from one stage to another, one will often experience a fallout in one’s friendships and relationships. If you were Stage Two and all of your friends were Stage Two, and suddenly you settle down, commit and get to work on Stage Three, yet your friends are still Stage Two, there will be a fundamental disconnect between your values and theirs that will be difficult to overcome.
Generally speaking, people project their own stage onto everyone else around them. People at Stage One will judge others by their ability to achieve social approval. People at Stage Two will judge others by their ability to push their own boundaries and try new things. People at Stage Three will judge others based on their commitments and what they’re able to achieve. People at Stage Four judge others based on what they stand for and what they’ve chosen to live for.
THE VALUE OF TRAUMA
Self-development is often portrayed as a rosy, flowery progression from dumbass to enlightenment that involves a lot of joy, prancing in fields of daisies, and high-fiving two thousand people at a seminar you paid way too much to be at.
But the truth is that transitions between the life stages are usually triggered by trauma or an extreme negative event in one’s life. A near-death experience. A divorce. A failed friendship or a death of a loved one.
Trauma causes us to step back and re-evaluate our deepest motivations and decisions. It allows us to reflect on whether our strategies to pursue happiness are actually working well or not.
WHAT GETS US STUCK
The same thing gets us stuck at every stage: a sense of personal inadequacy.
People get stuck at Stage One because they always feel as though they are somehow flawed and different from others, so they put all of their effort into conforming into what those around them would like to see. No matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
Stage Two people get stuck because they feel as though they should always be doing more, doing something better, doing something new and exciting, improving at something. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
Stage Three people get stuck because they feel as though they have not generated enough meaningful influence in the world, that they make a greater impact in the specific areas that they have committed themselves to. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
One could even argue that Stage Four people feel stuck because they feel insecure that their legacy will not last or make any significant impact on the future generations. They cling to it and hold onto it and promote it with every last gasping breath. But they never feel as though it is enough.
The solution at each stage is then backwards. To move beyond Stage One, you must accept that you will never be enough for everybody all the time, and therefore you must make decisions for yourself.
To move beyond Stage Two, you must accept that you will never be capable of accomplishing everything you can dream and desire, and therefore you must zero in on what matters most and commit to it.
To move beyond Stage Three, you must realize that time and energy are limited, and therefore you must refocus your attention to helping others take over the meaningful projects you began.
To move beyond Stage Four, you must realize that change is inevitable, and that the influence of one person, no matter how great, no matter how powerful, no matter how meaningful, will eventually dissipate too.
Quote of the Times;
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” – C.S. Lewis
Link of the Times;
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/honey/bmnlcjabgnpnenekpadlanbbkooimhnj?hl=en-US
Four?
Breed?
New York City has been named the "least happy city" in the country. Imagine what they said when they heard that news. Whatever you imagined, you're correct.
Another poll ranked New York City as the most-unhappy city in America. Football season only antagonizes it.
Duran Duran is suing their own fan club, saying that the club cheated them out of revenue. Well, that ought to thin out the membership.
Buzzfeed has fired its political editor for plagiarism. According to his registration letter, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
This week marks the 100th anniversary of World War I, just in case a Kaiser seems mad at you for not remembering.
Is it considered redundant to text a Texan?
Former president Warren G. Harding's love letters to his mistress have been released by the Library of Congress. This would explain why congressmen spend so much time in their library.
It's the 100th anniversary of the beginning of World War I, which was supposed to be "the war to end all wars." Talk about a tremendous marketing failure..
The TSA is offering a $5,000 reward for the best idea on how to speed up airport security lines. If you win, you'll get $1 a year for the next 5,000 years.
*.*
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance:
leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and
confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother
diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice,
why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
*.*
ATLANTA, GA - Military paintball team “28th Paintfantry” has yet to win a single match against area teenagers according to sources at the paintball arena.
The team has cited many reasons, including a lack of viable air support and poor intelligence.
“Combat is all I know,” admitted retired Spc. Justin Rome, a former Army supply assistant. “The enemy just doesn’t realize that the way they’re winning is all wrong.”
Rome, the team’s captain, recounted the most recent loss as he removed his Afghan scarf and dusted off his 5.11 tactical pants. “We were pinned down by withering enemy fire, and we asked ourselves what the professional warriors overseas would do. Instinctively, I grabbed my MBITR radio and called for air support, but they never showed.”
“We lost a lot of good men that day,” he said, looking away. “Half our team quit paintball and do AirSoft now.”
Mohamed Abdulah, the young leader of the Inner-City Integrated Sports team, or ICIS, believes the 28th Paintfantry warriors simply misunderstand paintball as a sport.
“They think that fighting by the book is more important than winning,” Abdulah said, “so they shouldn’t expect to beat us. Usually, after their whole team is eliminated, they complain to the referees that they should at least get credit for a tie because they followed their operations order and the issue was obviously a lack of support.”
Marty Moore, 28th Paintfantry’s assistant team leader, feels that the paintball referees lack a sense of precedent. “Home base didn’t even send out attack dogs as a substitute for helicopters,” Moore said. “I mean, even Call of Duty lets you call for air support.”
Rome joined in. “We tried bounding movements and flanking formations, but without overwhelming numbers, technology, and money, it turns out that our Vietnam-era tactics are completely useless.”
*.*
A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though
he'd just escaped a tornado.
"What's wrong?" a woman asked.
"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.
"What? But Houlihan's the worst player I've ever seen. How
could he have beaten you?"
"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for
a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes - any
handicap he wanted. He said, 'Just give me two gotchas.'"
"What's a gotcha?" asked the woman.
"That's what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said,
'You'll see.' Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club
poised, he screamed out 'Gotcha!'"
"I can guess what happened," the woman said.
"Sure," the pro said. "The scream threw me off, and I
missed the ball completely."
"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that's only one
swing. How did he win the game?"
The pro answered, "You try swinging at a golf ball all day
while waiting for that second 'gotcha!'"
*.*
Top Hints the Boss Really Does Not Like You:
1. Every year on his taxes, writes off your salary as a loss
2. Only one not invited to the company picnic--again
3. He recently gave you a "Congratulations for being passed over for a promotion for the 1,000th time" card
4. You hear him often use the phrase, the (your first name) problem
5. Refers to you as "Mr. Next to Go"
Issue of the Times;
This new breed of celebrities makes China’s rise even more obvious by Simon Black
In the year 605 AD, Emperor Yang of the Sui dynasty in China formally established what became known as the ‘imperial examination.’
This was a standardized test that public officials were required to take, covering everything from arithmetic to writing to military science.
The idea was to ensure that all public servants were educated and qualified.
This concept grew through the centuries, from the Sui to the Tang, Sung, Yuan, Ming, and Qing dynasties, with each successive leader further refining the exam.
It even lasted into China’s early days as a republic at the beginning of the 20th century, and still persists today in Taiwan.
China has had a very long tradition of placing substantial social value on education.
There was a brief interruption in the 20th century during Mao’s Cultural Revolution in which 100,000+ intellectuals were persecuted and shipped off to labor camps.
The economic effects of this decision to kill off intellect were disastrous, and China impoverished itself for decades as a result.
But today education is back at the forefront of Chinese culture, as it was for centuries.
The Chinese obsess over core subjects, particularly the all-important science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM).
The West is lagging here. Even the US Department of Education claims “few American students pursue expertise in STEM fields,” and “we have an inadequate pipeline of teachers skilled in those subjects.”
It’s also a question of values.
Case in point: two weeks ago, state-supported Wayne State University in Michigan decided to drop the mathematics requirement from its general education curriculum.
Instead, the university’s General Education Reform Committee proposed replacing the mathematics requirement with a mandatory course on diversity.
(It’s amazing that young people will actually take on tens of thousands of dollars worth of student debt for this…)
Across the Pacific, however, the Chinese haven’t reached the point yet where their society places much educational value on 18th century gender studies or the history of pop culture.
Instead, China celebrates real intellectual achievement.
Chinese movie stars take to their social media accounts each year during the annual “Gaokao”, or national college entrance exam, to cheer on the students.
The Gaokao is such a big deal in China that it receives substantial national media coverage, and top-scoring students often attract worshipful devotees and achieve minor celebrity status.
The same applies to the online math and science tutors who help students prepare for the Gaokao.
Many tutors attract millions of social media followers and are routinely recognized on the street like any ‘real’ celebrity.
[And in peak season they can make up to hundreds of thousands of dollars per month!]
Here’s an even starker example:
Stephen Hawking gained two million followers within 24 hours of signing up at the microblogging site Weibo, China’s equivalent of Twitter.
Now’s he’s up to 4.2 million, and climbing. That’s in just two months.
By comparison, on Twitter he has just 16,000 followers versus Kim Kardashian’s 46+ million.
It’s not that Hawking isn’t famous in the US or Europe-- they did, after all, make a movie about his life two years ago (which did slightly worse in the US market than 2014’s Sex Tape…)
It’s that he has a cult-like, almost movie star status in China, where students actually spend time learning about his theories.
To be fair, there’s obviously incalculable intellect in the West. And it’s not like the Chinese are immune to puerile fanaticism for their movie stars.
The key difference in China is that the celebration of intellect and human achievement as a core social value is on par with success and entertainment.
It’s no longer this way in the West. But it used to be.
When Sir Isaac Newton died in 1727, he was buried in England with the honor and prestige of a reigning monarch.
This shocked visiting diplomats from the Ottoman Empire, where intellectuals were treated with suspicion and censorship.
Unsurprisingly the Ottoman Empire was by then rapidly falling into history’s wastebasket of former superpowers, and the West was on the rise.
Decades ago in the US, Albert Einstein and Jonas Salk were huge celebrities.
Charles Lindbergh was once the most famous man in the world.
And children idolized astronauts in the 1960s, whose fame was so vast they were showered with endorsement deals from some of the biggest companies in the world.
Today, children in the West idolize reality TV starlets who are celebrated for having a voluptuous ass.
And in university, ‘checking your privilege’ is becoming more important in the Land of the Free than achieving fluency in the language of the universe-- mathematics.
Just like a ballooning national debt, it’s not hard to get a sense of where this trend leads.
Quote of the Times;
For nothing can overtake the power of Endurance! Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failure. Endurance alone is power ultimate. So endure. We are the sum of our endurance. And we will not let others define us any longer.
Link of the Times;
http://deezify.com/
Another poll ranked New York City as the most-unhappy city in America. Football season only antagonizes it.
Duran Duran is suing their own fan club, saying that the club cheated them out of revenue. Well, that ought to thin out the membership.
Buzzfeed has fired its political editor for plagiarism. According to his registration letter, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
This week marks the 100th anniversary of World War I, just in case a Kaiser seems mad at you for not remembering.
Is it considered redundant to text a Texan?
Former president Warren G. Harding's love letters to his mistress have been released by the Library of Congress. This would explain why congressmen spend so much time in their library.
It's the 100th anniversary of the beginning of World War I, which was supposed to be "the war to end all wars." Talk about a tremendous marketing failure..
The TSA is offering a $5,000 reward for the best idea on how to speed up airport security lines. If you win, you'll get $1 a year for the next 5,000 years.
*.*
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance:
leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and
confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother
diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice,
why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
*.*
ATLANTA, GA - Military paintball team “28th Paintfantry” has yet to win a single match against area teenagers according to sources at the paintball arena.
The team has cited many reasons, including a lack of viable air support and poor intelligence.
“Combat is all I know,” admitted retired Spc. Justin Rome, a former Army supply assistant. “The enemy just doesn’t realize that the way they’re winning is all wrong.”
Rome, the team’s captain, recounted the most recent loss as he removed his Afghan scarf and dusted off his 5.11 tactical pants. “We were pinned down by withering enemy fire, and we asked ourselves what the professional warriors overseas would do. Instinctively, I grabbed my MBITR radio and called for air support, but they never showed.”
“We lost a lot of good men that day,” he said, looking away. “Half our team quit paintball and do AirSoft now.”
Mohamed Abdulah, the young leader of the Inner-City Integrated Sports team, or ICIS, believes the 28th Paintfantry warriors simply misunderstand paintball as a sport.
“They think that fighting by the book is more important than winning,” Abdulah said, “so they shouldn’t expect to beat us. Usually, after their whole team is eliminated, they complain to the referees that they should at least get credit for a tie because they followed their operations order and the issue was obviously a lack of support.”
Marty Moore, 28th Paintfantry’s assistant team leader, feels that the paintball referees lack a sense of precedent. “Home base didn’t even send out attack dogs as a substitute for helicopters,” Moore said. “I mean, even Call of Duty lets you call for air support.”
Rome joined in. “We tried bounding movements and flanking formations, but without overwhelming numbers, technology, and money, it turns out that our Vietnam-era tactics are completely useless.”
*.*
A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though
he'd just escaped a tornado.
"What's wrong?" a woman asked.
"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.
"What? But Houlihan's the worst player I've ever seen. How
could he have beaten you?"
"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for
a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes - any
handicap he wanted. He said, 'Just give me two gotchas.'"
"What's a gotcha?" asked the woman.
"That's what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said,
'You'll see.' Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club
poised, he screamed out 'Gotcha!'"
"I can guess what happened," the woman said.
"Sure," the pro said. "The scream threw me off, and I
missed the ball completely."
"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that's only one
swing. How did he win the game?"
The pro answered, "You try swinging at a golf ball all day
while waiting for that second 'gotcha!'"
*.*
Top Hints the Boss Really Does Not Like You:
1. Every year on his taxes, writes off your salary as a loss
2. Only one not invited to the company picnic--again
3. He recently gave you a "Congratulations for being passed over for a promotion for the 1,000th time" card
4. You hear him often use the phrase, the (your first name) problem
5. Refers to you as "Mr. Next to Go"
Issue of the Times;
This new breed of celebrities makes China’s rise even more obvious by Simon Black
In the year 605 AD, Emperor Yang of the Sui dynasty in China formally established what became known as the ‘imperial examination.’
This was a standardized test that public officials were required to take, covering everything from arithmetic to writing to military science.
The idea was to ensure that all public servants were educated and qualified.
This concept grew through the centuries, from the Sui to the Tang, Sung, Yuan, Ming, and Qing dynasties, with each successive leader further refining the exam.
It even lasted into China’s early days as a republic at the beginning of the 20th century, and still persists today in Taiwan.
China has had a very long tradition of placing substantial social value on education.
There was a brief interruption in the 20th century during Mao’s Cultural Revolution in which 100,000+ intellectuals were persecuted and shipped off to labor camps.
The economic effects of this decision to kill off intellect were disastrous, and China impoverished itself for decades as a result.
But today education is back at the forefront of Chinese culture, as it was for centuries.
The Chinese obsess over core subjects, particularly the all-important science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM).
The West is lagging here. Even the US Department of Education claims “few American students pursue expertise in STEM fields,” and “we have an inadequate pipeline of teachers skilled in those subjects.”
It’s also a question of values.
Case in point: two weeks ago, state-supported Wayne State University in Michigan decided to drop the mathematics requirement from its general education curriculum.
Instead, the university’s General Education Reform Committee proposed replacing the mathematics requirement with a mandatory course on diversity.
(It’s amazing that young people will actually take on tens of thousands of dollars worth of student debt for this…)
Across the Pacific, however, the Chinese haven’t reached the point yet where their society places much educational value on 18th century gender studies or the history of pop culture.
Instead, China celebrates real intellectual achievement.
Chinese movie stars take to their social media accounts each year during the annual “Gaokao”, or national college entrance exam, to cheer on the students.
The Gaokao is such a big deal in China that it receives substantial national media coverage, and top-scoring students often attract worshipful devotees and achieve minor celebrity status.
The same applies to the online math and science tutors who help students prepare for the Gaokao.
Many tutors attract millions of social media followers and are routinely recognized on the street like any ‘real’ celebrity.
[And in peak season they can make up to hundreds of thousands of dollars per month!]
Here’s an even starker example:
Stephen Hawking gained two million followers within 24 hours of signing up at the microblogging site Weibo, China’s equivalent of Twitter.
Now’s he’s up to 4.2 million, and climbing. That’s in just two months.
By comparison, on Twitter he has just 16,000 followers versus Kim Kardashian’s 46+ million.
It’s not that Hawking isn’t famous in the US or Europe-- they did, after all, make a movie about his life two years ago (which did slightly worse in the US market than 2014’s Sex Tape…)
It’s that he has a cult-like, almost movie star status in China, where students actually spend time learning about his theories.
To be fair, there’s obviously incalculable intellect in the West. And it’s not like the Chinese are immune to puerile fanaticism for their movie stars.
The key difference in China is that the celebration of intellect and human achievement as a core social value is on par with success and entertainment.
It’s no longer this way in the West. But it used to be.
When Sir Isaac Newton died in 1727, he was buried in England with the honor and prestige of a reigning monarch.
This shocked visiting diplomats from the Ottoman Empire, where intellectuals were treated with suspicion and censorship.
Unsurprisingly the Ottoman Empire was by then rapidly falling into history’s wastebasket of former superpowers, and the West was on the rise.
Decades ago in the US, Albert Einstein and Jonas Salk were huge celebrities.
Charles Lindbergh was once the most famous man in the world.
And children idolized astronauts in the 1960s, whose fame was so vast they were showered with endorsement deals from some of the biggest companies in the world.
Today, children in the West idolize reality TV starlets who are celebrated for having a voluptuous ass.
And in university, ‘checking your privilege’ is becoming more important in the Land of the Free than achieving fluency in the language of the universe-- mathematics.
Just like a ballooning national debt, it’s not hard to get a sense of where this trend leads.
Quote of the Times;
For nothing can overtake the power of Endurance! Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failure. Endurance alone is power ultimate. So endure. We are the sum of our endurance. And we will not let others define us any longer.
Link of the Times;
http://deezify.com/
Calling?
I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers.
But the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back.
*.*
Single Mom Ready To Get Back Out There During 30 Minutes Per Week She’s Not Working Or Watching Daughter
TACOMA, WA—Saying she’s ready to have some fun and meet somebody new, local single mother Denise Tripp told reporters Friday she hopes to get back out there and start dating again during the half hour or so each week when she’s not busy working or raising her 8-year-old daughter. “It will be wonderful getting to know someone in the few moments I have while walking back to the house in the morning after I drop Haley off at her bus stop,” said Tripp, remarking that she also has a four-and-a-half-minute window to build a relationship with a new partner on Sundays after she finishes the laundry and before she does her shopping for the week. “I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to just going out and enjoying a meal and a conversation with another adult. As long as I can find someone who lives nearby and doesn’t mind picking something up quick and eating in the car, I should be able to fit that in on my way to pick up Haley from her dance class.” Tripp added that she’s “not looking for Mr. Perfect,” just someone with whom she can curl up and watch a movie in a dozen or so 10-minute installments over the course of several months.
*.*
Oneliners:
Standard and Poor's has downgraded Finland's rating from AAA to AA+. I didn't even know it wore a bra.
The deer population on New York's Staten Island has gone from 24 to over 600 in just six years. Well, it's not like they have a TV to watch...
According to a new study, humans would only last 68 days if they tried to live on Mars. That is, until that new Starbucks goes in...
Scientists have started calling the time we are living in "the Anthropocene," or the age of humans. I believe Anthropocene is Latin for "My God! Look how much they've screwed this place up!"
A study says that 78% of women want a husband who has a steady job. So guys, the trick is finding one of those 22% that don't mind you staying at home playing video games all day.
A Swiss watchmaker has come out with a wristwatch that is selling for $2.6 Million. Or, you could just look at your phone for free.
*.*
I was just thinking; not long ago GM was building cars in Flint, Michigan and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico.
After eight years of support from Obama and his Administration, GM now builds cars in Mexico and you can't drink the water in Flint, Michigan.
Hope and Change delivered!
*.*
Europe is an allegory for the ages of man.
You are born Italian, relentlessly infantile and mother-obsessed.
In childhood, you are English: chronically shy, tongue-tied clicky and only happy kicking balls or pulling the legs off things.
Teenagers are French: pretentiously philosophical, embarrassingly vain, ridiculously romantic yet simultaneously insecure.
During Middle-Age, we become either Irish and fun loving, or Swiss and serious.
Old age is German: ponderous, pompous and pedantic. And finally, we regress into being Belgian, with no idea of who we are at all.
Issue of the Times;
Here a Nazi, There a Nazi, Everywhere a Nazi-Nazi! by Jim Goad
I guess calling everyone a “racist” doesn’t work anymore. If it did, Trump would have lost.
As a result, we are all Nazis now.
Milo Yiannapoulos is a gay Jew who can’t seem to go more than five minutes without mentioning that he loves sucking black cock. He has openly and repeatedly disavowed white nationalism, especially the “14/88” crowd.
Doesn’t matter. Posters preceding his recent appearance in Denver tagged him as a “Nazi” and encouraged punching him.
When he attempted to speak last week at UC Berkeley—which abandoned any pretense of supporting free speech long ago—a violent riot erupted, and authorities canceled the speech. Fires were set, windows were smashed, a female Trump supporter was maced while doing a TV interview, and Trump supporters were beaten unconscious in the streets. There was a million dollars in property damage yet only one arrest—for misdemeanor failure to disperse rather than, you know, felony assault or felony rioting.
While condemning the riots, California’s Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom smeared Milo as a “white supremacist.”
In the past few months Gavin McInnes has gone to great pains to distance himself from Nazis and anyone who focuses on the “Jewish Question.” Regardless, he was pepper-sprayed last week in the course of attempting to give a speech at NYU.
“By any rational definition of the term, there are hardly any Nazis in America right now.”
A video shows a fat, ugly, stereotypically insane female leftist who claimed to be a college professor screaming at the police to shut down Gavin:
You are fucking assholes! You’re protecting the Nazis!
You should kick their ass! You should! These are kids who are trying to learn about humanity!
They’re trying to learn about human rights and against racism and xenophobia, and LGBTQ rights, and you’re letting these fucking Neo-Nazis near here!
It’s not up to these students to kick the ass of a Neo-Nazi! They don’t have to raise their fist! They were taught to be peaceful! Fuck you!
With all due respect ma’am, no—fuck YOU. And fuck the hyperbolic counterfactual lunacy your ilk has puked out for the past few generations. By any rational definition of the term, there are hardly any Nazis in America right now. If you want to be absolutely literal, there are none, because the term refers strictly to a defunct German political party. But there has been such relentless brainwashing that WWII’s losers are the Ultimate Embodiment of Evil, normally tolerant people have a Pavlovian reaction to the very mention of the term. In modern America, “Nazi” is a term used to demean, dismiss, and to justify any violence that may befall you after you are pinned with the Scarlet Swastika.
At a Portland airport last week, rioters knocked a Trump supporter unconscious while gleefully shouting, “That’s how you talk to a Nazi!” and “Fuck you, Nazi.”
At a recent Black Lives Matter hootenanny in Seattle, a megaphone-toting Negress uttered the following calls to violence and sedition:
And we need to start killing people….Give your fucking money, your fucking house, your fucking property, we need it fucking all….Fuck white supremacy, fuck the US empire, Kill the White House, fuck the White House, fuck your imperialist ass lives. That shit gotta go.
At the idiotic and embarrassing March of the Vaginas on January 21, Madonna spoke of blowing up the White House—and she was applauded rather than arrested.
On Twitter last week, comedienne Sarah Silverman called for the armed overthrow of the US government, which is a felony:
WAKE UP & JOIN THE RESISTANCE. ONCE THE MILITARY IS W US FASCISTS GET OVERTHROWN. MAD KING & HIS HANDLERS GO BYE BYE
Miraculously, she was not visited by the Secret Service. Must be her “white” privilege at work.
During the Berkeley riots last week, another privileged “white” Hollywood fixture named Judd Apatow encouraged more violence:
This is just the beginning. When will all the fools who are still supporting Trump realize what is at stake?
Oh, I believe we know precisely what’s at stake. But we’re keeping calm now. We’ve been extraordinarily patient with your never-ending psychotic tantrums. You fools are the ones publicly shitting your diapers daily. But if you keep cheering on the routine beatings of Trump supporters, you risk awakening the slumbering Saxon.
As of February 3, at least 12,000 calls to assassinate Trump had been logged on Twitter. So far, the Secret Service has visited a grand total of two people over the threats. London Times columnist India Knight has openly called for Trump’s assassination. So has Ted Kornblum, CEO of a guitar amplifier company. Last week an Irish magazine called Village featured a cover with crosshairs focused on Trump’s temple and the headline “Why Not.” Rapper Big Sean recently cut a track where he talks of murdering Donald Trump with an icepick. The publisher of Germany’s Die Zeit suggested “Murder in the White House; as an effective method of taking out Trump. CNN produced a fantasy video where Trump gets assassinated.
There is a peculiar sadism at the very root of the leftist mindset, one made all the more foul because it’s buried underneath a fraudulent veneer of compassion and tolerance. There has been next to zero violence coming from the right, but leftists are justifying all their mob violence by saying Nazis want to exterminate everyone, so they’re just preemptively preventing another genocide. That’s a transparently false excuse, and they’d be hard-pressed to point to a single person they’ve attacked who advocates violence, but I realized only a few years ago that truth and facts simply do not matter to these cultists. But when it comes to violence, they should be very careful what they ask for.
There are laws against rioting. There are RICO laws. There are laws against assault. There are laws against destroying property. There are laws against blocking someone’s forward progress. There are laws against sedition and domestic terrorism. I hope the Trump Administration bulldozes these assholes with those laws. He even suggested defunding UC Berkeley, which currently milks federal funds for more than half of their revenue.
In contrast to Berkeley’s “stand down” orders to police during the riots, 231 people were charged with felony rioting in DC on Inauguration Day. If found guilty, I would like to see these “black bloc” assholes put away, where they’ll be forced to deal with a “black bloc” who hates their guts merely for their skin color. I would love to be a fly on the wall when a scrawny rich white “anarchist” inmate tries explaining to his cellmate, a member of the Black Guerrilla Family, about how he empathizes with his cause and has been fighting racism all his life.
I would like to believe that the recent spate of unhinged leftist rioting and violence is the loudest death rattle the world has ever heard. But if they keep shutting down free speech and punching anyone they deem a “Nazi,” they risk facing a violent backlash that unmasks them as the cowards they truly are.
Perhaps a major problem with the right these days is that there are too many suits and not enough boots. If the law won’t deal with this, it may be time to unleash the Saxon dogs.
Quote of the Times;
Comfort is the enemy of achievement.
Link of the Times;
http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/the_wrath_of_the_awakened.php
But the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back.
*.*
Single Mom Ready To Get Back Out There During 30 Minutes Per Week She’s Not Working Or Watching Daughter
TACOMA, WA—Saying she’s ready to have some fun and meet somebody new, local single mother Denise Tripp told reporters Friday she hopes to get back out there and start dating again during the half hour or so each week when she’s not busy working or raising her 8-year-old daughter. “It will be wonderful getting to know someone in the few moments I have while walking back to the house in the morning after I drop Haley off at her bus stop,” said Tripp, remarking that she also has a four-and-a-half-minute window to build a relationship with a new partner on Sundays after she finishes the laundry and before she does her shopping for the week. “I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to just going out and enjoying a meal and a conversation with another adult. As long as I can find someone who lives nearby and doesn’t mind picking something up quick and eating in the car, I should be able to fit that in on my way to pick up Haley from her dance class.” Tripp added that she’s “not looking for Mr. Perfect,” just someone with whom she can curl up and watch a movie in a dozen or so 10-minute installments over the course of several months.
*.*
Oneliners:
Standard and Poor's has downgraded Finland's rating from AAA to AA+. I didn't even know it wore a bra.
The deer population on New York's Staten Island has gone from 24 to over 600 in just six years. Well, it's not like they have a TV to watch...
According to a new study, humans would only last 68 days if they tried to live on Mars. That is, until that new Starbucks goes in...
Scientists have started calling the time we are living in "the Anthropocene," or the age of humans. I believe Anthropocene is Latin for "My God! Look how much they've screwed this place up!"
A study says that 78% of women want a husband who has a steady job. So guys, the trick is finding one of those 22% that don't mind you staying at home playing video games all day.
A Swiss watchmaker has come out with a wristwatch that is selling for $2.6 Million. Or, you could just look at your phone for free.
*.*
I was just thinking; not long ago GM was building cars in Flint, Michigan and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico.
After eight years of support from Obama and his Administration, GM now builds cars in Mexico and you can't drink the water in Flint, Michigan.
Hope and Change delivered!
*.*
Europe is an allegory for the ages of man.
You are born Italian, relentlessly infantile and mother-obsessed.
In childhood, you are English: chronically shy, tongue-tied clicky and only happy kicking balls or pulling the legs off things.
Teenagers are French: pretentiously philosophical, embarrassingly vain, ridiculously romantic yet simultaneously insecure.
During Middle-Age, we become either Irish and fun loving, or Swiss and serious.
Old age is German: ponderous, pompous and pedantic. And finally, we regress into being Belgian, with no idea of who we are at all.
Issue of the Times;
Here a Nazi, There a Nazi, Everywhere a Nazi-Nazi! by Jim Goad
I guess calling everyone a “racist” doesn’t work anymore. If it did, Trump would have lost.
As a result, we are all Nazis now.
Milo Yiannapoulos is a gay Jew who can’t seem to go more than five minutes without mentioning that he loves sucking black cock. He has openly and repeatedly disavowed white nationalism, especially the “14/88” crowd.
Doesn’t matter. Posters preceding his recent appearance in Denver tagged him as a “Nazi” and encouraged punching him.
When he attempted to speak last week at UC Berkeley—which abandoned any pretense of supporting free speech long ago—a violent riot erupted, and authorities canceled the speech. Fires were set, windows were smashed, a female Trump supporter was maced while doing a TV interview, and Trump supporters were beaten unconscious in the streets. There was a million dollars in property damage yet only one arrest—for misdemeanor failure to disperse rather than, you know, felony assault or felony rioting.
While condemning the riots, California’s Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom smeared Milo as a “white supremacist.”
In the past few months Gavin McInnes has gone to great pains to distance himself from Nazis and anyone who focuses on the “Jewish Question.” Regardless, he was pepper-sprayed last week in the course of attempting to give a speech at NYU.
“By any rational definition of the term, there are hardly any Nazis in America right now.”
A video shows a fat, ugly, stereotypically insane female leftist who claimed to be a college professor screaming at the police to shut down Gavin:
You are fucking assholes! You’re protecting the Nazis!
You should kick their ass! You should! These are kids who are trying to learn about humanity!
They’re trying to learn about human rights and against racism and xenophobia, and LGBTQ rights, and you’re letting these fucking Neo-Nazis near here!
It’s not up to these students to kick the ass of a Neo-Nazi! They don’t have to raise their fist! They were taught to be peaceful! Fuck you!
With all due respect ma’am, no—fuck YOU. And fuck the hyperbolic counterfactual lunacy your ilk has puked out for the past few generations. By any rational definition of the term, there are hardly any Nazis in America right now. If you want to be absolutely literal, there are none, because the term refers strictly to a defunct German political party. But there has been such relentless brainwashing that WWII’s losers are the Ultimate Embodiment of Evil, normally tolerant people have a Pavlovian reaction to the very mention of the term. In modern America, “Nazi” is a term used to demean, dismiss, and to justify any violence that may befall you after you are pinned with the Scarlet Swastika.
At a Portland airport last week, rioters knocked a Trump supporter unconscious while gleefully shouting, “That’s how you talk to a Nazi!” and “Fuck you, Nazi.”
At a recent Black Lives Matter hootenanny in Seattle, a megaphone-toting Negress uttered the following calls to violence and sedition:
And we need to start killing people….Give your fucking money, your fucking house, your fucking property, we need it fucking all….Fuck white supremacy, fuck the US empire, Kill the White House, fuck the White House, fuck your imperialist ass lives. That shit gotta go.
At the idiotic and embarrassing March of the Vaginas on January 21, Madonna spoke of blowing up the White House—and she was applauded rather than arrested.
On Twitter last week, comedienne Sarah Silverman called for the armed overthrow of the US government, which is a felony:
WAKE UP & JOIN THE RESISTANCE. ONCE THE MILITARY IS W US FASCISTS GET OVERTHROWN. MAD KING & HIS HANDLERS GO BYE BYE
Miraculously, she was not visited by the Secret Service. Must be her “white” privilege at work.
During the Berkeley riots last week, another privileged “white” Hollywood fixture named Judd Apatow encouraged more violence:
This is just the beginning. When will all the fools who are still supporting Trump realize what is at stake?
Oh, I believe we know precisely what’s at stake. But we’re keeping calm now. We’ve been extraordinarily patient with your never-ending psychotic tantrums. You fools are the ones publicly shitting your diapers daily. But if you keep cheering on the routine beatings of Trump supporters, you risk awakening the slumbering Saxon.
As of February 3, at least 12,000 calls to assassinate Trump had been logged on Twitter. So far, the Secret Service has visited a grand total of two people over the threats. London Times columnist India Knight has openly called for Trump’s assassination. So has Ted Kornblum, CEO of a guitar amplifier company. Last week an Irish magazine called Village featured a cover with crosshairs focused on Trump’s temple and the headline “Why Not.” Rapper Big Sean recently cut a track where he talks of murdering Donald Trump with an icepick. The publisher of Germany’s Die Zeit suggested “Murder in the White House; as an effective method of taking out Trump. CNN produced a fantasy video where Trump gets assassinated.
There is a peculiar sadism at the very root of the leftist mindset, one made all the more foul because it’s buried underneath a fraudulent veneer of compassion and tolerance. There has been next to zero violence coming from the right, but leftists are justifying all their mob violence by saying Nazis want to exterminate everyone, so they’re just preemptively preventing another genocide. That’s a transparently false excuse, and they’d be hard-pressed to point to a single person they’ve attacked who advocates violence, but I realized only a few years ago that truth and facts simply do not matter to these cultists. But when it comes to violence, they should be very careful what they ask for.
There are laws against rioting. There are RICO laws. There are laws against assault. There are laws against destroying property. There are laws against blocking someone’s forward progress. There are laws against sedition and domestic terrorism. I hope the Trump Administration bulldozes these assholes with those laws. He even suggested defunding UC Berkeley, which currently milks federal funds for more than half of their revenue.
In contrast to Berkeley’s “stand down” orders to police during the riots, 231 people were charged with felony rioting in DC on Inauguration Day. If found guilty, I would like to see these “black bloc” assholes put away, where they’ll be forced to deal with a “black bloc” who hates their guts merely for their skin color. I would love to be a fly on the wall when a scrawny rich white “anarchist” inmate tries explaining to his cellmate, a member of the Black Guerrilla Family, about how he empathizes with his cause and has been fighting racism all his life.
I would like to believe that the recent spate of unhinged leftist rioting and violence is the loudest death rattle the world has ever heard. But if they keep shutting down free speech and punching anyone they deem a “Nazi,” they risk facing a violent backlash that unmasks them as the cowards they truly are.
Perhaps a major problem with the right these days is that there are too many suits and not enough boots. If the law won’t deal with this, it may be time to unleash the Saxon dogs.
Quote of the Times;
Comfort is the enemy of achievement.
Link of the Times;
http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/the_wrath_of_the_awakened.php
Keanu?
Classic:
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we all gonna die.”
*.*
"My wife is always asking for money," complained a man to his friend.
"Last week she wanted $200. The day before yesterday she asked me for $125. This morning she wanted $150."
"That's crazy," said the friend. "What does she do with it all?"
"I don't know," said the man, "I never give her a dime!”
*.*
Coast Guard Mostly Saves Very Stupid People, Study Finds
WASHINGTON, DC — Nearly 83 percent of mariner rescues since 1960 involved unrelentingly stupid behaviors and/or people, according to a recent study by the U.S. Coast Guard.
Though the service treats all search and rescue situations equally, most on-scene commanders will privately admit that a majority of the time “it was just some dumb bastard with no concern for personal safety,” according to the study’s authors.
“These statistics are unthinkable,” said Coast Guard spokesperson Lt. Carla Willmington. “Our service prides itself on response time, SAR organization, and comprehensive rescue pattern analysis. But it’s tough to stay on task when the bulk of these cases involve people paralyzed from the neck up. ”
The U. S. Coast Guard Office of Search and Rescue report examined nearly all cases handled on inland and offshore waters from 1960 through 2014. Following the Federal Boating Act of 1971, increases in cases by “fucking idiots” and “goddamn morons” have been staggering, and very challenging to the service as it struggles to operate under a minimal budget.
Between 2010 and 2014, the most recent years studied, incidents involving “total assholery” increased from 10,687 to 38,335.
“I joined the Coast Guard because it seemed like we were the only military service operating even when we weren’t fighting in some war,” said Operations Spc. Bill Horvath, of Sector Humboldt Bay. “But then you realize we are at war, against an army of dipshits with boats.”
“I’ve seen some pretty stupid shit in my time,” said Willmington. “Why would a boater decide it’s a good idea to sail balls-first into a hurricane with zero lifejackets, zero flares, and apparently zero fucks? Why even make an effort for these people? I’m all for a Darwinian Search and Rescue Plan, if you follow me.”
*.*
Oneliners:
Wrestling videogames are actual competitions with no predetermined winner. Does that make them more "real" than the live action they're based on?
All I want is a candle that smells like blown out candles
Cleaning my cats litterbox is like panning for terrible gold.
To Yoda, everyone must sound pretty fucking weird
If you are a twin born on the day the clocks change it's possible to be born before your older sibling.
All pants and jeans should have pockets lined with microfiber material so your phone gets cleaned every time you put it in your pocket.
*.*
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, I print it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists.
Once when I asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas.
Imagine my surprise when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station demanding; "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?"
Issue of the Times;
KEANU REEVES – GEN X ICON by Theophrastus
Lately, I have been doing quite a bit of reading about generations. Specifically, I have read Strauss and Howe’s The 4th Turning, 13th Gen, and Gordinier’s X Saves the World. Also, there is a fine website (http://www.fourthturning.com/)that gives an overview of the content regarding the Turning Concept (from Strauss and Howe). Not only have I poured over these books, but I also viewed many different youtube videos that cover these topics, both from these authors and others.
Now, I am hardly an expert on the whole process, and do not feel competent to cover them here, but one aspect of their generational concept is something with which I am quite intimately involved, and have been my entire life – Generation X. Yes, that is correct. I am a member of Gen X.
If you read the material on the various turnings, and the repetition of generations, then you know that one particular generation always enters middle age during a time of crisis, which we are now in. Strauss and Howe call this repeating generation the Nomads. In our day and time, as we enter the crisis portion of their cycle, Gen X is that Nomad generation. In fact, through history, it is the very nature of this group that ends up saving the day, despite their natural tendency to avoid being heroic.
Here is the standard definition of this group, per Strauss and Howe:
Nomad generations are born during a spiritual awakening, a time of social ideals and spiritual agendas when youth-fired attacks break out against the established institutional order. Nomads grow up as underprotected children during this awakening, come of age as alienated young adults in a post-awakening world, mellow into pragmatic midlife leaders during a historical crisis, and age into tough post-crisis elders. By virtue of this location in history, such generations tend to be remembered for their rising-adult years of hell-raising and for their midlife years of hands-on, get-it-done leadership. Their principle endowments are often in the domain of liberty, survival, and honor.
So here is my contribution to this concept.
I propose that the films of Keanu Reeves encapsulate the transition that typical Gen X members go through. These movies show how Gen X grows up, transitions into young adulthood, and then accomplishes the societal tasks put before them. Now, this is not an exhaustive look at his movies, and the whole premise could be developed in more detail, but this sampling gives a good overview. Consider the following:
The Bill and Ted era.
Playing Ted Theodore Logan, Reeves is a happy go lucky goofball. He is a disappointment to his father, a loyal friend, and all around slacker. In danger of failing his history course, which will keep him from graduating from high school, Ted joins his buddy Bill S. Preston, Esq., and together they take a journey through history, in a phone booth.
How does this film encapsulate Gen X? It shows the tension between Ted (representing Gen X) and the earlier generations, in this case, his father and teacher. Ted finds little value in the things these authority figures hold dear, and simply wants to do things on his own, in his own way.
Interestingly, though Bill and Ted simply want to form a band, Wyld Stallyns, and play music, the future depends on them accomplishing this goal. In fact, the whole impetus behind their journey is the fact that their music will “change the world.” That is not Bill and Ted’s intention, but it is what happens. This is fine foreshadowing.
The Parenthood era.
In this film, in which Reeves plays a supporting role, his character marries a young woman, and she soon gets pregnant. In a conversation with her uncle, played by Steve Martin, Reeves’ character states: “you know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they’ll let any butt-reaming a**hole be a father.” Here, we see a young man, forced to grow up too early, learning to make do with little parental supervision, since the older generation is so caught up in their own lives. In relation to our topic here, we see that this is a generation that learns to make do with whatever comes their way, and they take life much more seriously than those who have come before them.
The Speed, Point Break era.
For several years, Reeves starred in various action and drama movies, usually playing the hero. Now, he was not a super-human hero, but just a regular guy doing his job. He was placed in nearlypointbreak impossible circumstances, but did what had to be done, regardless of the personal cost. This is an example of Gen X coming of age. No longer adhering to the “slacker” identity often associated with his generation, his characters step up when needed. He uses creative methods to solve problems. Unlike the self-absorbed Boomers or Millennials, his Gen X heroes are selfless problem solvers.
The Matrix era.
The first of the trilogy was released in 1999, when Reeves was 35 years old. As Neo, he learns that the world in which he lived was actually a fictional existence. Reality was not what he had always been told it was. This film produced the now universally quoted example of making a choice: do you take the red pill or the blue pill? Boomers represent the blue pill, preferring to live in their delusions, but as a Gen X hero, Neo must take the red pill and escape the lies that hold him back.
The following two films in the series further show Neo’s willingness to sacrifice himself to save everyone else. It does not happen in an expected way, but that is normal for a Gen Xer. We are used to coming up with unique and “out of the box” solutions. These movies serve as a cultural turning point for most Gen Xers.
The John Wick era.
Here, we see Reeves, now entering his 50s, playing a serious, focused, and hard-boiled character. No longer do we see the jovial Ted. Now Reeves’ character is a hit man who cannot be stopped. The first of these movies introduces the retired hitman, John Wick, who simply wants to be left alone. Unfortunately, a group of young thugs are not willing to do that. Symbolically, we have a group of Millennials, tutored by a group of Boomers, who simply will not allow Wick to live in peace. Ultimately, Wick turns his attention to these people and reigns down hell fire, destroying anything that gets in his way.
He does not seek this destruction. He simply wants to be live his life, but when circumstances force him into action, he does what must be done, with no remorse, hesitation, or mercy.
So we see the lifespan of the Gen X generation in these films. Most of us who grew up in the 1970s and 80s found ourselves without lots of hands-on parenting. We were latchkey kids. We stayed home alone, figured out how to navigate life on our own terms, and made do. Older generations did not understand us, did not approve of our choices, and complained about darn near everything we did. We did not care. We just went about our business, making as few waves as possible. We made mistakes, but we learned from them. We grew up with an edge.
As we aged into young adulthood, we fought for jobs. We tried our hands at lots of things, with most of us changing jobs several times. Along the way, we used the skills we had developed in our youth to become good problem solvers. We did the jobs that had to be done. We did not consider ourselves to be special (unlike most Boomers or Millennials). We had little time for nonsense, just fixing the problems we encountered in the best ways we could.
Somewhere along the line, we figured out that the world that was passed down to us was built upon an illusion. Unlike our parents and grandparents, we did not believe the government was here to help us. We knew better. We realized that the world was not improving, regardless of what our elders said. The path we were on as a society was headed to a bad destination, and we took the red pill. We stopped playing that game, and started playing it by our own rules. No doubt, this caused even more tension with older generations, and their younger followers. Again, we did not care (and still don’t). We took the institutions given to us and transformed them, and are still doing so.
Finally, though our real goal was just to be left alone, we found ourselves backed into a corner. Really, this is where we are now. Gen X has never set out to save the world. We really did not even start out to change the world in any way. Boomers and Millennials have the market on those desires. Unfortunately, neither of them is really suited to actually do it, despite their ideological predilections that lead them to want to “change the world.”
So, while we have never had the desire to effect world-changing results, we have been forced into it. Honestly, we just wanted to find a good job, hopefully working for ourselves (we do like entrepreneurship). We want to do the job in the most efficient manner and then go about our own lives. We were content to let Boomers and Millennials do their thing, as long as they left us alone. But they did not. Along the way, the Boomers wrecked the things that worked. Of course, these two generations are not at fault for everything that has happened in the last 50 years, but they have, especially the Boomers, been the catalyst for most of what is now wrong with the world.
So yeah, we are in the John Wick phase now. We have been provoked, and we will do what we must do, just as we have always done. We are the ones equipped to think on our feet, adapt to change, and use pragmatic solutions to the problems put before us.
My suggestion to everyone else? Shut up and get out of the way. We are going to do what we have to do. We are going to fix things. You may not like how we do it, but you really do not have a choice. You are living in a Gen X world now. Learn to enjoy it.
Quote of the Times;
The trouble is, you think you have time. – Buddha
Link of the Times;
https://www.lewrockwell.com/political-theatre/john-lott-brussels-guns-crime/
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we all gonna die.”
*.*
"My wife is always asking for money," complained a man to his friend.
"Last week she wanted $200. The day before yesterday she asked me for $125. This morning she wanted $150."
"That's crazy," said the friend. "What does she do with it all?"
"I don't know," said the man, "I never give her a dime!”
*.*
Coast Guard Mostly Saves Very Stupid People, Study Finds
WASHINGTON, DC — Nearly 83 percent of mariner rescues since 1960 involved unrelentingly stupid behaviors and/or people, according to a recent study by the U.S. Coast Guard.
Though the service treats all search and rescue situations equally, most on-scene commanders will privately admit that a majority of the time “it was just some dumb bastard with no concern for personal safety,” according to the study’s authors.
“These statistics are unthinkable,” said Coast Guard spokesperson Lt. Carla Willmington. “Our service prides itself on response time, SAR organization, and comprehensive rescue pattern analysis. But it’s tough to stay on task when the bulk of these cases involve people paralyzed from the neck up. ”
The U. S. Coast Guard Office of Search and Rescue report examined nearly all cases handled on inland and offshore waters from 1960 through 2014. Following the Federal Boating Act of 1971, increases in cases by “fucking idiots” and “goddamn morons” have been staggering, and very challenging to the service as it struggles to operate under a minimal budget.
Between 2010 and 2014, the most recent years studied, incidents involving “total assholery” increased from 10,687 to 38,335.
“I joined the Coast Guard because it seemed like we were the only military service operating even when we weren’t fighting in some war,” said Operations Spc. Bill Horvath, of Sector Humboldt Bay. “But then you realize we are at war, against an army of dipshits with boats.”
“I’ve seen some pretty stupid shit in my time,” said Willmington. “Why would a boater decide it’s a good idea to sail balls-first into a hurricane with zero lifejackets, zero flares, and apparently zero fucks? Why even make an effort for these people? I’m all for a Darwinian Search and Rescue Plan, if you follow me.”
*.*
Oneliners:
Wrestling videogames are actual competitions with no predetermined winner. Does that make them more "real" than the live action they're based on?
All I want is a candle that smells like blown out candles
Cleaning my cats litterbox is like panning for terrible gold.
To Yoda, everyone must sound pretty fucking weird
If you are a twin born on the day the clocks change it's possible to be born before your older sibling.
All pants and jeans should have pockets lined with microfiber material so your phone gets cleaned every time you put it in your pocket.
*.*
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, I print it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists.
Once when I asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas.
Imagine my surprise when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station demanding; "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?"
Issue of the Times;
KEANU REEVES – GEN X ICON by Theophrastus
Lately, I have been doing quite a bit of reading about generations. Specifically, I have read Strauss and Howe’s The 4th Turning, 13th Gen, and Gordinier’s X Saves the World. Also, there is a fine website (http://www.fourthturning.com/)that gives an overview of the content regarding the Turning Concept (from Strauss and Howe). Not only have I poured over these books, but I also viewed many different youtube videos that cover these topics, both from these authors and others.
Now, I am hardly an expert on the whole process, and do not feel competent to cover them here, but one aspect of their generational concept is something with which I am quite intimately involved, and have been my entire life – Generation X. Yes, that is correct. I am a member of Gen X.
If you read the material on the various turnings, and the repetition of generations, then you know that one particular generation always enters middle age during a time of crisis, which we are now in. Strauss and Howe call this repeating generation the Nomads. In our day and time, as we enter the crisis portion of their cycle, Gen X is that Nomad generation. In fact, through history, it is the very nature of this group that ends up saving the day, despite their natural tendency to avoid being heroic.
Here is the standard definition of this group, per Strauss and Howe:
Nomad generations are born during a spiritual awakening, a time of social ideals and spiritual agendas when youth-fired attacks break out against the established institutional order. Nomads grow up as underprotected children during this awakening, come of age as alienated young adults in a post-awakening world, mellow into pragmatic midlife leaders during a historical crisis, and age into tough post-crisis elders. By virtue of this location in history, such generations tend to be remembered for their rising-adult years of hell-raising and for their midlife years of hands-on, get-it-done leadership. Their principle endowments are often in the domain of liberty, survival, and honor.
So here is my contribution to this concept.
I propose that the films of Keanu Reeves encapsulate the transition that typical Gen X members go through. These movies show how Gen X grows up, transitions into young adulthood, and then accomplishes the societal tasks put before them. Now, this is not an exhaustive look at his movies, and the whole premise could be developed in more detail, but this sampling gives a good overview. Consider the following:
The Bill and Ted era.
Playing Ted Theodore Logan, Reeves is a happy go lucky goofball. He is a disappointment to his father, a loyal friend, and all around slacker. In danger of failing his history course, which will keep him from graduating from high school, Ted joins his buddy Bill S. Preston, Esq., and together they take a journey through history, in a phone booth.
How does this film encapsulate Gen X? It shows the tension between Ted (representing Gen X) and the earlier generations, in this case, his father and teacher. Ted finds little value in the things these authority figures hold dear, and simply wants to do things on his own, in his own way.
Interestingly, though Bill and Ted simply want to form a band, Wyld Stallyns, and play music, the future depends on them accomplishing this goal. In fact, the whole impetus behind their journey is the fact that their music will “change the world.” That is not Bill and Ted’s intention, but it is what happens. This is fine foreshadowing.
The Parenthood era.
In this film, in which Reeves plays a supporting role, his character marries a young woman, and she soon gets pregnant. In a conversation with her uncle, played by Steve Martin, Reeves’ character states: “you know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they’ll let any butt-reaming a**hole be a father.” Here, we see a young man, forced to grow up too early, learning to make do with little parental supervision, since the older generation is so caught up in their own lives. In relation to our topic here, we see that this is a generation that learns to make do with whatever comes their way, and they take life much more seriously than those who have come before them.
The Speed, Point Break era.
For several years, Reeves starred in various action and drama movies, usually playing the hero. Now, he was not a super-human hero, but just a regular guy doing his job. He was placed in nearlypointbreak impossible circumstances, but did what had to be done, regardless of the personal cost. This is an example of Gen X coming of age. No longer adhering to the “slacker” identity often associated with his generation, his characters step up when needed. He uses creative methods to solve problems. Unlike the self-absorbed Boomers or Millennials, his Gen X heroes are selfless problem solvers.
The Matrix era.
The first of the trilogy was released in 1999, when Reeves was 35 years old. As Neo, he learns that the world in which he lived was actually a fictional existence. Reality was not what he had always been told it was. This film produced the now universally quoted example of making a choice: do you take the red pill or the blue pill? Boomers represent the blue pill, preferring to live in their delusions, but as a Gen X hero, Neo must take the red pill and escape the lies that hold him back.
The following two films in the series further show Neo’s willingness to sacrifice himself to save everyone else. It does not happen in an expected way, but that is normal for a Gen Xer. We are used to coming up with unique and “out of the box” solutions. These movies serve as a cultural turning point for most Gen Xers.
The John Wick era.
Here, we see Reeves, now entering his 50s, playing a serious, focused, and hard-boiled character. No longer do we see the jovial Ted. Now Reeves’ character is a hit man who cannot be stopped. The first of these movies introduces the retired hitman, John Wick, who simply wants to be left alone. Unfortunately, a group of young thugs are not willing to do that. Symbolically, we have a group of Millennials, tutored by a group of Boomers, who simply will not allow Wick to live in peace. Ultimately, Wick turns his attention to these people and reigns down hell fire, destroying anything that gets in his way.
He does not seek this destruction. He simply wants to be live his life, but when circumstances force him into action, he does what must be done, with no remorse, hesitation, or mercy.
So we see the lifespan of the Gen X generation in these films. Most of us who grew up in the 1970s and 80s found ourselves without lots of hands-on parenting. We were latchkey kids. We stayed home alone, figured out how to navigate life on our own terms, and made do. Older generations did not understand us, did not approve of our choices, and complained about darn near everything we did. We did not care. We just went about our business, making as few waves as possible. We made mistakes, but we learned from them. We grew up with an edge.
As we aged into young adulthood, we fought for jobs. We tried our hands at lots of things, with most of us changing jobs several times. Along the way, we used the skills we had developed in our youth to become good problem solvers. We did the jobs that had to be done. We did not consider ourselves to be special (unlike most Boomers or Millennials). We had little time for nonsense, just fixing the problems we encountered in the best ways we could.
Somewhere along the line, we figured out that the world that was passed down to us was built upon an illusion. Unlike our parents and grandparents, we did not believe the government was here to help us. We knew better. We realized that the world was not improving, regardless of what our elders said. The path we were on as a society was headed to a bad destination, and we took the red pill. We stopped playing that game, and started playing it by our own rules. No doubt, this caused even more tension with older generations, and their younger followers. Again, we did not care (and still don’t). We took the institutions given to us and transformed them, and are still doing so.
Finally, though our real goal was just to be left alone, we found ourselves backed into a corner. Really, this is where we are now. Gen X has never set out to save the world. We really did not even start out to change the world in any way. Boomers and Millennials have the market on those desires. Unfortunately, neither of them is really suited to actually do it, despite their ideological predilections that lead them to want to “change the world.”
So, while we have never had the desire to effect world-changing results, we have been forced into it. Honestly, we just wanted to find a good job, hopefully working for ourselves (we do like entrepreneurship). We want to do the job in the most efficient manner and then go about our own lives. We were content to let Boomers and Millennials do their thing, as long as they left us alone. But they did not. Along the way, the Boomers wrecked the things that worked. Of course, these two generations are not at fault for everything that has happened in the last 50 years, but they have, especially the Boomers, been the catalyst for most of what is now wrong with the world.
So yeah, we are in the John Wick phase now. We have been provoked, and we will do what we must do, just as we have always done. We are the ones equipped to think on our feet, adapt to change, and use pragmatic solutions to the problems put before us.
My suggestion to everyone else? Shut up and get out of the way. We are going to do what we have to do. We are going to fix things. You may not like how we do it, but you really do not have a choice. You are living in a Gen X world now. Learn to enjoy it.
Quote of the Times;
The trouble is, you think you have time. – Buddha
Link of the Times;
https://www.lewrockwell.com/political-theatre/john-lott-brussels-guns-crime/
Lewis?
Three men are sitting in the maternity ward of a hospital waiting for the imminent birth of their respective children. One is an Englishman, one a black South African and the other a West Indian.
They are all very nervous and pacing the floor, as you do in these situations. All of a sudden the doctor bursts through the double doors saying "Gentlemen you won't believe this but your wives have all had their babies within 5 minutes of each other." The men are beside themselves with happiness and joy.
"And", said the doctor...
"They have all had little boys." The fathers are ecstatic and congratulate each other over and over.
"However we do have one slight problem," the doctor said. "In all the confusion we may have mixed the babies up getting them to the nursery and would be grateful if you could join us there to try and help identify them."
With that the West Indian raced passed the doctor and bolted to the nursery. Once inside he picked up the white skinned infant saying, there's no doubt about it, this boy is mine!"
The doctor looked bewildered and said, "Well sir of all the babies I would have thought that maybe this child could be of English descent."
"That's a maybe", said the West Indian, "but one of the other two is a fucking South African and I'm not taking the risk."
*.*
"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.
"Did he get anything." his mates asked.
"Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."
*.*
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me."
*.*
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls?
American teenage girls get stoned BEFORE they have sex.
*.*
Mind-Boggling Statistics :
100% of people die on or within 6 months of their birthday.
The amount of American dollars spent on the Iraq and Afghanistan wars could have paid for solar panels on the roof of every house in America.
You are more likely to be killed by a toaster than a shark.
Breast cancer is responsible for the death of 300 men every year.
Vending machines take the lives of 13 people per year.
There are 35-50 active serial killers in the United States at any given moment.
Since the 1950s, around 90% of the large predatory fish in the ocean are gone.
1 in 3 Australians will develop skin cancer.
There are more empty houses in the US than there are homeless people.
80% of all Russian males born in the year 1923 didn’t live past the year 1945.
Toothpaste was invented in 1892, whereas kissing was invented a disgustingly long time before that.
CPR only works 2% of the time.
58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school.
Issue of the Times;
Have We No Right to Happiness?
Editor’s Note: This is C.S. Lewis’ final published article, submitted shortly before his death on Nov 22, 1963. Herein, he addresses his social climate, which has only gotten worse since he penned these words.
“After all,” said Clare. “they had a right to happiness.”
We were discussing something that once happened in our own neighborhood. Mr. A. had deserted Mrs. A. and got his divorce in order to marry Mrs. B., who had likewise got her divorce in order to marry Mr. A. And there was certainly no doubt that Mr. A. and Mrs. B. were very much in love with one another. If they continued to be in love, and if nothing went wrong with their health or their income, they might reasonable expect to be very happy.
It was equally clear that they were not happy with their old partners. Mrs. B. had adored her husband at the outset. But then he got smashed up in the war. It was thought he had lost his virility, and it was known that he had lost his job. Life with him was no longer what Mrs. B. had bargained for. Poor Mrs. A., too. She had lost her looks—and all her liveliness. It might be true, as some said, that she consumed herself by bearing his children and nursing him through the long illness that overshadowed their earlier married life.
You mustn’t, by the way, imagine that A. was the sort of man who nonchalantly threw a wife away like the peel of an orange he’d sucked dry. Her suicide was a terrible shock to him. We all knew this, for he told us so himself. “But what could I do?” he said. “A man has a right to happiness. I had to take my one chance when it came.”
I went away thinking about the concept of a “right to happiness.”
At first this sounds to me as odd as a right to good luck. For I believe—whatever one school of moralists may say—that we depend for a very great deal of our happiness or misery on circumstances outside all human control. A right to happiness doesn’t, for me, make much more sense than a right to be six feet tall, or have a millionaire for your father, or to get good weather whenever you want to have a picnic.
I can understand a right as a freedom guaranteed me by the laws of the society I live in. Thus, I have a right to travel along the public roads because society gives me that freedom; that’s what we mean by calling the roads “public.” I can also understand a right as a claim guaranteed me by the laws, and correlative to an obligation on someone else’s part. If I have a right to receive $100 from you, this is another way of saying that you have a duty to pay me $100. If the laws allow Mr. A. to desert his wife and seduce his neighbor’s wife, then, by definition, Mr. A. has a legal right to do so, and we need bring in no talk about happiness.
But of course that was not what Clare meant. She meant that he had not only a legal but a moral right to act as he did. In other words, Clare is—or would be if she thought it out—a classical moralist after the style of Thomas Aquinas, Grotius, Hooker and Locke. She believes that behind the laws of the state there is a Natural Law.
I agree with her. I hold this conception to be basic to all civilization. Without it, the actual laws of the state become an absolute, as in Hegel. They cannot be criticized because there is no norm against which they should be judged.
The ancestry of Clare’s maxim. “They have a right to happiness,” is august. In words that are cherished by all civilized men, but especially by Americans, it has been laid down that one of the rights of man is a right to “the pursuit of happiness.” And now we get to the real point.
What did the writers of that august declaration mean?
It is quite certain what they did not mean. They did not mean that man was entitled to pursue happiness by any and every means—including, say, murder, rape, robbery, treason and fraud. No society could be built on such a basis.
They meant “to pursue happiness by all lawful means”; that is, by all means which the Law of Nature eternally sanctions and which the laws of the nation shall sanction.
Admittedly this seems at first to reduce their maxim to the tautology that men (in pursuit of happiness) have a right to do whatever they have a right to do. But tautologies, seen against their proper historical context, are not always barren tautologies. The declaration is primarily a denial of the political principles which long governed Europe; a challenge flung down to the Austrian and Russian empires, to England before the Reform Bills, to Bourbon France. It demands that whatever means of pursuing happiness are lawful for any should be lawful for all that “man,” not men of some particular cast, class, status or religion, should be free to use them. In a century when this is being unsaid by nation after nation and party after party, let us not call it a barren tautology.
But the question as to what means are “lawful”—what methods of pursuing happiness are either morally permissible by the Law of Nature or should be declared legally permissible by the legislature of a particular nation—remains exactly where it did. And on that question I disagree with Clare. I don’t think it is obvious that people have the unlimited “right to happiness” which she suggests.
For one thing, I believe that Clare, when she says “happiness,” means simply and solely “sexual happiness.” Partly because women like Clare never use the word “happiness” in any other sense. But also because I never heard Clare talk about the “right” to any other kind. She was rather leftist in her politics, and would have been scandalized if anyone had defended the actions of a ruthless man-eating tycoon on the ground that his happiness consisted in making money and he was pursuing his happiness. She was also a rabid teetotaler; I never heard her excuse an alcoholic because he was happy when he was drunk.
A good many of Clare’s friends, and especially her female friends, often felt—I’ve heard them say so—that their own happiness would be perceptibly increased by boxing her ears. I very much doubt if this would have brought her theory of a right to happiness into play.
Clare, in fact, is doing what the whole western world seems to me to have been doing for the last 40-odd years. When I was a youngster, all the progressive people were saying, “Why all this prudery? Let us treat sex just as we treat all our other impulses.” I was simple-minded enough to believe they meant what they said. I have since discovered that they meant exactly the opposite. They meant that sex was to be treated as no other impulse in our nature has ever been treated by civilized people. All the others, we admit, have to be bridled. Absolute obedience to your instinct for self-preservation is what we call cowardice; to your acquisitive impulse, avarice. Even sleep must be resisted if you’re a sentry. But every unkindness and breach of faith seems to be condoned provided that the object aimed at is “four bare legs in a bed.”
It is like having a morality in which stealing fruit is considered wrong—unless you steal nectarines.
And if you protest against this view you are usually met with chatter about the legitimacy and beauty and sanctity of “sex” and accused of harboring some Puritan prejudice against it as something disreputable or shameful. I deny the charge. Foam-born Venus … golden Aphrodite … Our Lady of Cyprus… I never breathed a word against you. If I object to boys who steal my nectarines, must I be supposed to disapprove of nectarines in general? Or even of boys in general? It might, you know, be stealing that I disapproved of.
The real situation is skillfully concealed by saying that the question of Mr. A’s “right” to desert his wife is one of “sexual morality.” Robbing an orchard is not an offense against some special morality called “fruit morality.” It is an offense against honesty. Mr. A’s action is an offense against good faith (to solemn promises), against gratitude (toward one to whom he was deeply indebted) and against common humanity.
Our sexual impulses are thus being put in a position of preposterous privilege. The sexual motive is taken to condone all sorts of behavior which, if it had any other end in view, would be condemned as merciless, treacherous and unjust.
Now though I see no good reason for giving sex this privilege, I think I see a strong cause. It is this.
It is part of the nature of a strong erotic passion—as distinct from a transient fit of appetite—that makes more towering promises than any other emotion. No doubt all our desires makes promises, but not so impressively. To be in love involves the almost irresistible conviction that one will go on being in love until one dies, and that possession of the beloved will confer, not merely frequent ecstasies, but settled, fruitful, deep-rooted, lifelong happiness. Hence all seems to be at stake. If we miss this chance we shall have lived in vain. At the very thought of such a doom we sink into fathomless depths of self-pity.
Unfortunately these promises are found often to be quite untrue. Every experienced adult knows this to be so as regards all erotic passions (except the one he himself is feeling at the moment). We discount the world-without-end pretensions of our friends’ amours easily enough. We know that such things sometimes last—and sometimes don’t. And when they do last, this is not because they promised at the outset to do so. When two people achieve lasting happiness, this is not solely because they are great lovers but because they are also—I must put it crudely—good people; controlled, loyal, fair-minded, mutually adaptable people.
If we establish a “right to (sexual) happiness” which supersedes all the ordinary rules of behavior, we do so not because of what our passion shows itself to be in experience but because of what it professes to be while we are in the grip of it. Hence, while the bad behavior is real and works miseries and degradations, the happiness which was the object of the behavior turns out again and again to be illusory. Everyone (except Mr. A. and Mrs. B.) knows that Mr. A. in a year or so may have the same reason for deserting his new wife as for deserting his old. He will feel again that all is at stake. He will see himself again as the great lover, and his pity for himself will exclude all pity for the woman.
Why Women Suffer More?
Two further points remain.
One is this. A society in which conjugal infidelity is tolerated must always be in the long run a society adverse to women. Women, whatever a few male songs and satires may say to the contrary, are more naturally monogamous than men; it is a biological necessity. Where promiscuity prevails, they will therefore always be more often the victims than the culprits. Also, domestic happiness is more necessary to them than to us. And the quality by which they most easily hold a man, their beauty, decreases every year after they have come to maturity, but this does not happen to those qualities of personality —women don’t really care two cents about our looks—by which we hold women. Thus in the ruthless war of promiscuity women are at a double disadvantage. They play for higher stakes and are also more likely to lose. I have no sympathy with moralists who frown at the increasing crudity of female provocativeness. These signs of desperate competition fill me with pity.
Secondly, though the “right to happiness” is chiefly claimed for the sexual impulse, it seems to be impossible that the matter should stay there. The fatal principle, once allowed in that department, must sooner or later seep through our whole lives. We thus advance toward a state of society in which not only each man but every impulse in each man claims carte blanche. And then, though our technological skill may help us survive a little longer, our civilization will have died at heart, and will—one dare not even add “unfortunately”—be swept away.
Quote of the Times;
They show that in their hearts they know right from wrong. They demonstrate that God’s law is written within them, for their own consciences either accuse them or tell them they are doing what is right. – Romans 2:14-15
Link of the Times;
https://www.menofthewest.net/best-press-conference-ever/
They are all very nervous and pacing the floor, as you do in these situations. All of a sudden the doctor bursts through the double doors saying "Gentlemen you won't believe this but your wives have all had their babies within 5 minutes of each other." The men are beside themselves with happiness and joy.
"And", said the doctor...
"They have all had little boys." The fathers are ecstatic and congratulate each other over and over.
"However we do have one slight problem," the doctor said. "In all the confusion we may have mixed the babies up getting them to the nursery and would be grateful if you could join us there to try and help identify them."
With that the West Indian raced passed the doctor and bolted to the nursery. Once inside he picked up the white skinned infant saying, there's no doubt about it, this boy is mine!"
The doctor looked bewildered and said, "Well sir of all the babies I would have thought that maybe this child could be of English descent."
"That's a maybe", said the West Indian, "but one of the other two is a fucking South African and I'm not taking the risk."
*.*
"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.
"Did he get anything." his mates asked.
"Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."
*.*
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me."
*.*
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls?
American teenage girls get stoned BEFORE they have sex.
*.*
Mind-Boggling Statistics :
100% of people die on or within 6 months of their birthday.
The amount of American dollars spent on the Iraq and Afghanistan wars could have paid for solar panels on the roof of every house in America.
You are more likely to be killed by a toaster than a shark.
Breast cancer is responsible for the death of 300 men every year.
Vending machines take the lives of 13 people per year.
There are 35-50 active serial killers in the United States at any given moment.
Since the 1950s, around 90% of the large predatory fish in the ocean are gone.
1 in 3 Australians will develop skin cancer.
There are more empty houses in the US than there are homeless people.
80% of all Russian males born in the year 1923 didn’t live past the year 1945.
Toothpaste was invented in 1892, whereas kissing was invented a disgustingly long time before that.
CPR only works 2% of the time.
58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school.
Issue of the Times;
Have We No Right to Happiness?
Editor’s Note: This is C.S. Lewis’ final published article, submitted shortly before his death on Nov 22, 1963. Herein, he addresses his social climate, which has only gotten worse since he penned these words.
“After all,” said Clare. “they had a right to happiness.”
We were discussing something that once happened in our own neighborhood. Mr. A. had deserted Mrs. A. and got his divorce in order to marry Mrs. B., who had likewise got her divorce in order to marry Mr. A. And there was certainly no doubt that Mr. A. and Mrs. B. were very much in love with one another. If they continued to be in love, and if nothing went wrong with their health or their income, they might reasonable expect to be very happy.
It was equally clear that they were not happy with their old partners. Mrs. B. had adored her husband at the outset. But then he got smashed up in the war. It was thought he had lost his virility, and it was known that he had lost his job. Life with him was no longer what Mrs. B. had bargained for. Poor Mrs. A., too. She had lost her looks—and all her liveliness. It might be true, as some said, that she consumed herself by bearing his children and nursing him through the long illness that overshadowed their earlier married life.
You mustn’t, by the way, imagine that A. was the sort of man who nonchalantly threw a wife away like the peel of an orange he’d sucked dry. Her suicide was a terrible shock to him. We all knew this, for he told us so himself. “But what could I do?” he said. “A man has a right to happiness. I had to take my one chance when it came.”
I went away thinking about the concept of a “right to happiness.”
At first this sounds to me as odd as a right to good luck. For I believe—whatever one school of moralists may say—that we depend for a very great deal of our happiness or misery on circumstances outside all human control. A right to happiness doesn’t, for me, make much more sense than a right to be six feet tall, or have a millionaire for your father, or to get good weather whenever you want to have a picnic.
I can understand a right as a freedom guaranteed me by the laws of the society I live in. Thus, I have a right to travel along the public roads because society gives me that freedom; that’s what we mean by calling the roads “public.” I can also understand a right as a claim guaranteed me by the laws, and correlative to an obligation on someone else’s part. If I have a right to receive $100 from you, this is another way of saying that you have a duty to pay me $100. If the laws allow Mr. A. to desert his wife and seduce his neighbor’s wife, then, by definition, Mr. A. has a legal right to do so, and we need bring in no talk about happiness.
But of course that was not what Clare meant. She meant that he had not only a legal but a moral right to act as he did. In other words, Clare is—or would be if she thought it out—a classical moralist after the style of Thomas Aquinas, Grotius, Hooker and Locke. She believes that behind the laws of the state there is a Natural Law.
I agree with her. I hold this conception to be basic to all civilization. Without it, the actual laws of the state become an absolute, as in Hegel. They cannot be criticized because there is no norm against which they should be judged.
The ancestry of Clare’s maxim. “They have a right to happiness,” is august. In words that are cherished by all civilized men, but especially by Americans, it has been laid down that one of the rights of man is a right to “the pursuit of happiness.” And now we get to the real point.
What did the writers of that august declaration mean?
It is quite certain what they did not mean. They did not mean that man was entitled to pursue happiness by any and every means—including, say, murder, rape, robbery, treason and fraud. No society could be built on such a basis.
They meant “to pursue happiness by all lawful means”; that is, by all means which the Law of Nature eternally sanctions and which the laws of the nation shall sanction.
Admittedly this seems at first to reduce their maxim to the tautology that men (in pursuit of happiness) have a right to do whatever they have a right to do. But tautologies, seen against their proper historical context, are not always barren tautologies. The declaration is primarily a denial of the political principles which long governed Europe; a challenge flung down to the Austrian and Russian empires, to England before the Reform Bills, to Bourbon France. It demands that whatever means of pursuing happiness are lawful for any should be lawful for all that “man,” not men of some particular cast, class, status or religion, should be free to use them. In a century when this is being unsaid by nation after nation and party after party, let us not call it a barren tautology.
But the question as to what means are “lawful”—what methods of pursuing happiness are either morally permissible by the Law of Nature or should be declared legally permissible by the legislature of a particular nation—remains exactly where it did. And on that question I disagree with Clare. I don’t think it is obvious that people have the unlimited “right to happiness” which she suggests.
For one thing, I believe that Clare, when she says “happiness,” means simply and solely “sexual happiness.” Partly because women like Clare never use the word “happiness” in any other sense. But also because I never heard Clare talk about the “right” to any other kind. She was rather leftist in her politics, and would have been scandalized if anyone had defended the actions of a ruthless man-eating tycoon on the ground that his happiness consisted in making money and he was pursuing his happiness. She was also a rabid teetotaler; I never heard her excuse an alcoholic because he was happy when he was drunk.
A good many of Clare’s friends, and especially her female friends, often felt—I’ve heard them say so—that their own happiness would be perceptibly increased by boxing her ears. I very much doubt if this would have brought her theory of a right to happiness into play.
Clare, in fact, is doing what the whole western world seems to me to have been doing for the last 40-odd years. When I was a youngster, all the progressive people were saying, “Why all this prudery? Let us treat sex just as we treat all our other impulses.” I was simple-minded enough to believe they meant what they said. I have since discovered that they meant exactly the opposite. They meant that sex was to be treated as no other impulse in our nature has ever been treated by civilized people. All the others, we admit, have to be bridled. Absolute obedience to your instinct for self-preservation is what we call cowardice; to your acquisitive impulse, avarice. Even sleep must be resisted if you’re a sentry. But every unkindness and breach of faith seems to be condoned provided that the object aimed at is “four bare legs in a bed.”
It is like having a morality in which stealing fruit is considered wrong—unless you steal nectarines.
And if you protest against this view you are usually met with chatter about the legitimacy and beauty and sanctity of “sex” and accused of harboring some Puritan prejudice against it as something disreputable or shameful. I deny the charge. Foam-born Venus … golden Aphrodite … Our Lady of Cyprus… I never breathed a word against you. If I object to boys who steal my nectarines, must I be supposed to disapprove of nectarines in general? Or even of boys in general? It might, you know, be stealing that I disapproved of.
The real situation is skillfully concealed by saying that the question of Mr. A’s “right” to desert his wife is one of “sexual morality.” Robbing an orchard is not an offense against some special morality called “fruit morality.” It is an offense against honesty. Mr. A’s action is an offense against good faith (to solemn promises), against gratitude (toward one to whom he was deeply indebted) and against common humanity.
Our sexual impulses are thus being put in a position of preposterous privilege. The sexual motive is taken to condone all sorts of behavior which, if it had any other end in view, would be condemned as merciless, treacherous and unjust.
Now though I see no good reason for giving sex this privilege, I think I see a strong cause. It is this.
It is part of the nature of a strong erotic passion—as distinct from a transient fit of appetite—that makes more towering promises than any other emotion. No doubt all our desires makes promises, but not so impressively. To be in love involves the almost irresistible conviction that one will go on being in love until one dies, and that possession of the beloved will confer, not merely frequent ecstasies, but settled, fruitful, deep-rooted, lifelong happiness. Hence all seems to be at stake. If we miss this chance we shall have lived in vain. At the very thought of such a doom we sink into fathomless depths of self-pity.
Unfortunately these promises are found often to be quite untrue. Every experienced adult knows this to be so as regards all erotic passions (except the one he himself is feeling at the moment). We discount the world-without-end pretensions of our friends’ amours easily enough. We know that such things sometimes last—and sometimes don’t. And when they do last, this is not because they promised at the outset to do so. When two people achieve lasting happiness, this is not solely because they are great lovers but because they are also—I must put it crudely—good people; controlled, loyal, fair-minded, mutually adaptable people.
If we establish a “right to (sexual) happiness” which supersedes all the ordinary rules of behavior, we do so not because of what our passion shows itself to be in experience but because of what it professes to be while we are in the grip of it. Hence, while the bad behavior is real and works miseries and degradations, the happiness which was the object of the behavior turns out again and again to be illusory. Everyone (except Mr. A. and Mrs. B.) knows that Mr. A. in a year or so may have the same reason for deserting his new wife as for deserting his old. He will feel again that all is at stake. He will see himself again as the great lover, and his pity for himself will exclude all pity for the woman.
Why Women Suffer More?
Two further points remain.
One is this. A society in which conjugal infidelity is tolerated must always be in the long run a society adverse to women. Women, whatever a few male songs and satires may say to the contrary, are more naturally monogamous than men; it is a biological necessity. Where promiscuity prevails, they will therefore always be more often the victims than the culprits. Also, domestic happiness is more necessary to them than to us. And the quality by which they most easily hold a man, their beauty, decreases every year after they have come to maturity, but this does not happen to those qualities of personality —women don’t really care two cents about our looks—by which we hold women. Thus in the ruthless war of promiscuity women are at a double disadvantage. They play for higher stakes and are also more likely to lose. I have no sympathy with moralists who frown at the increasing crudity of female provocativeness. These signs of desperate competition fill me with pity.
Secondly, though the “right to happiness” is chiefly claimed for the sexual impulse, it seems to be impossible that the matter should stay there. The fatal principle, once allowed in that department, must sooner or later seep through our whole lives. We thus advance toward a state of society in which not only each man but every impulse in each man claims carte blanche. And then, though our technological skill may help us survive a little longer, our civilization will have died at heart, and will—one dare not even add “unfortunately”—be swept away.
Quote of the Times;
They show that in their hearts they know right from wrong. They demonstrate that God’s law is written within them, for their own consciences either accuse them or tell them they are doing what is right. – Romans 2:14-15
Link of the Times;
https://www.menofthewest.net/best-press-conference-ever/
Several animals were savagely beaten in the making of this page, including but not limited to; kittens, rabbits, zebu, skunks, puppies, and platypus. Also several monkeys where force fed crack to improve their typing skills.
And someone shot a duck.
An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.
No Vegans were harmed in the making of this site. We're looking for a new provider.
And someone shot a duck.
An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.
No Vegans were harmed in the making of this site. We're looking for a new provider.